dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
