i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
