My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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