and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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