On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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