Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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