Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
