she looked like the before picture.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
