In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
