he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
