didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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