meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
