i jhust puked up my retainher.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize