I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
