I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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