i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
