I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
