I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize