Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
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