he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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