Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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