We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
