i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
