respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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