So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
