im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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