Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
