At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize