You really coming over, don't trick.
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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