I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
