I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Randomize
