just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
