yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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