i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize
