In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize