it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
A bitchslap is in order.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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