No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
