I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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