yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
