My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize