covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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