she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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