The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
We left the knife in your bed.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
