I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize