There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
