I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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