I wanna passion pit in your ass
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
