i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
