Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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