he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
