Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize