I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I booty called her while she was in labor.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
