I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
