What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Help me help you realize you are a moron
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I think my moral compass just broke
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize