Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
there was a trapeze. enough said
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
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