Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
my shit smells like andre
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
