i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
You pole danced in your parka.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
