Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
why is half of my head shaved?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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