Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
