are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Randomize
