he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
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