dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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