I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize