whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
