I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
