I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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