If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
