it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
birth control should be required to get into college
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Congratulations! We have a period
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